This Tri thing is killing me.

First I get really excited about it.  Then I get really intimidated.  What are aerobars?  Do I need a wetsuit?  How do I change from a swimsuit to bike/running stuff?  Where do I put all my stuff so that I can find it when I get to the transitions?  How does passing work with bikes?  Or swimming?  What if I get kicked in the face?  And now Mariana’s backing out, so who am I supposed to train/do it with?????

Eek.  BUT if I do end up doing it: going to have SOOO MUCH FUN IN BOSTON.  Staying with D for a week, then Lyss will fly into Boston on the 17th, then we’ll hang there or head to Ith for O week (depending on what sounds more fun…gorging in Ith or taking over Boston?).  Honestly I wouldn’t be scared of this if I had an equally inexperienced friend doing it with me.  Then we could be clueless together.  I’m just freaking out because Mariana’s backing out.

But I REALLY want to do it.  From what I can tell (aka, what I’ve gleaned from the 5 books I’ve checked out and countless google searches combined with my own knowledge of how I swim, bike, and run) a tri might actually be a much better fit for me physically than running events.  I’m a good swimmer, biking is coming really naturally (these quads are good for something!) and I have a lot of experience running and am a very careful, consistent and strong runner rather than a speedy thing.  Since running is the last leg, it’s more important to be strong and steady with it in a tri; apparently elite triathletes that smoke the rest of the competition on the running leg do so because they’re strong, while in a pure running event these same athletes wouldn’t touch an elite runner.  (That same elite runner may not be able to touch the elite triathlete on the running leg after the other two legs).  I think I’m the type of runner that would still be able to deliver a consistent race after swimming and biking, and I want to try that because I think I’ve plateaued in pure running.  I can’t go faster or longer unless I want to hurt myself if that’s all I’m doing.  So…super cross train! At least until I get back in racing shape, then we’ll revisit this.

OK.  Internship starts Monday.  Getting nervous and excited!  See ya.

I knew I would get addicted if I started, but hereeee it goes.

I just picked up my bike from the bike shop in ctown after a tune up.  Tune up, plus ball bearer adjustment, plus labor, plus helmet, and 104 dollars later I am walking my bike up to my apartment with D.  So, excited to have a fully tuned up and peak bike, I decided to take it for a spin.

Oh my gosh. Why didn’t I do this sooner. I did 6 miles, not too much, but the coolest thing is that I feel like I’ve joined some secret, highly exclusive cult.  I’m now one of those people.

Who would’ve thought…now, little sticks and divets in the road are objects which strike fear into the very bottom of my stomach.  I’m now a source of incredible annoyance and frustration to impatient drivers just itching to zoom by me—side mirrors have never been more terrifying.  But I’m also the beneficiary of countless smiles from my fellow helmet wearing comrades, previously stoic and unconcerned with my presence as a pedestrian.  I can cross campus in only a few minutes without breaking a sweat.  I get to feel the sun and wind on my arms while I zoom by snail paced walkers.  All while saving tank loads of gas money—and getting a nice little workout.  Pi Phi, Helen Newman, and Mann have never been so close!  This is fantastic.

Maybe a triathalon isn’t so crazy.  I swam 1200 m this morning (in sets, longest was 500 m), and a sprint distance is only 800 m swim, 12 mile bike, 5 km run.  The Boston Tri is 800 m, 9 mi, 4 mi, which is even better (plays more to my strengths—less bike, more run).  Honestly I think I could do a sprint without training, and a better challenge would be to go for olympic distance, but I’d rather do the shorter distance for my first instead of being exhausted while not knowing what to do at T1 or 2 (transitions).  And Mariana, Laura, and Derek all want to do Boston too…AND D said I could stay at her place with her and spend a week in Boston before school starts (the tri is August 12)…so I really don’t have any reasons not to! 

Ithaca is lovely right now.  I’ve been getting a lot done (cleaning apartment, bike tune up, computer, car clean up, and taking car into Honda dealership tomorrow to deal with a recall/get breaks and oil checked).  Everyone is relaxed and not stressed. There’s a surprising number of people chilling here and it’s really easy to find friends to do stuff with.  I have a bunch of tasks to do for my research which I really have to take care of tomorrow, but they’re all things that just sound like fun so I’m not worried.  So yeah.  That’s what’s going on.

I sort of expected this week back to be an extremely chill, almost boring week of just hanging out and doing nothing.  Totally not the case.  My to-do list just keeps growing every day.

So far I’ve scrubbed my apartment from head to toe, cleaning out and reorganzing the kitchen, refrigerator/freezer, bathroom, and my room (although I really need a bathroom that works). Washed bedding and lots of clothes.  Reorganized and folded all my clothes.  

Today was sort of a failure of accomplishing things: I like half accomplished a ton of things, but finished nothing.  I talked to the guys at the bike store about my bike, but have yet to bring it in for a tune up.  I got a bike lock but still no helmet.  I went to the Cornell store to buy my new computer and talked to them for a while, but then chickened out at spending that much money at once (will have to tomorrow).  I finished one exercise for my research, but then got an email 5 minutes later with 5 more exercises to do.  And I also need to arrange for internet, finish my redecorating, find a second job (lots of applications are in), and do like 8 other things that I can’t remember right now.  The list just seems to grow every time I check something off.

AND there’s so much to do with friends! Today I had brunch at the carriage house with Katrina and a bunch of other seniors (in an effort to save money, I ate beforehand and only ordered coffee.  Which apparently cost 2.50 and then 1.75 for a refill.  What the heck! Job please).  There’s also Senior Trash Scavenging, which has been incredibly successful. And gorges and bars, and it’s way more fun to hang out around Collegetown when it’s not pulsing with so many people you can’t even walk.  Plus there’s also so many nice amenities with being in a collegetown (esp my own collegetown): nice gyms and pools, libraries, pretty campus to walk around in, that sort of thing.  Which by the way, our campus is SO MUCH COOLER when the weather is nice; it seems like a real, fun college!

I’m also loving the having my own apartment thing.  When I was doing my domestic chores that forced me to hermit inside the apartment by myself for an entire day on Monday, the alone thing totally freaked me out.  But when I’m out and about all day (like today), it’s so nice to come home and just relax.  I think it’s going to be the world’s greatest dream to live alone this summer since I’m working 9 to 5 and training too.  It’ll be my escape, which is why I’m trying to make it as nice and homey as possible (something I never did before, because I was never really there; it was a place to leave my stuff).  I’m also really excited to be totally responsible for the apartment and myself.  Dad, you would be shocked, but I’m cleaning like no other.  I was so excited to find a discarded Windex and Bleach at the Sig Ep annex when I was checking out a friends old TV’s.  Like, more excited about that than the TV’s.  It’s now my apartment, so I want it to be nice, especially for when I have people over.  

So….that’s what’s new.  Tonight I’m picking up D! who is staying the week.  Tomorrow I’m bringing my bike to the store with Mariana to get it checked out.  Then I’m buying a Mac from the Cornell Store.  Then I’m turning in my rent check.  Then I’m going to Time Warner to get internet for the apartment.  Then I’m working out, and seeing if CFC needs another worker this summer. Then I’m checking if the Jason Aldean tickets are on sale yet.  Ahhh.

Walking into Carpenter was weird. Like, oh, back already?

Except I was coming here to look at facebook, not homework, and figure out job stuff.  

Today was weird. The building is pretty much empty and I spent the whole day cleaning the bathroom, kitchen, reorganizing all the shelves, redoing the common room, washing my bedding/clothes, folding and reorganizing all my drawers (I now have a lot more space since I can spread my stuff out) and being pretty domestic.  Which was necessary and good but lonely.  Like, I wish I could’ve had someone hanging out with my while I did all that. 

And then I had a little bit of anxiety about it being alone all day.  I’m a self proclaimed introvert and I started doing crazy things like run half marathons in order to ensure that I get all the Kathleen time that I need.  So it’s not like I’m scared of being alone.  But I’m just so utterly not used to it and after a few hours it just weirds me out.  I had to keep the radio on all day, sort of like a dog (I like actually got really freaked out when it was off).  I think once I start working 9 to 5 every day the single apt will be such a blessing; come home after work and just totally relax, and then meet up with people after. But for now it’s driving me crazy.   If I didn’t have so much work to do in there today, I would’ve been out of there in a second.  I miss my dogs!  

The day also started out funky, so maybe that’s a contributing factor to today feeling kinda uneasy for me.  Dad, shield Mom’s eyes, but I was so relieved when my family left (in case that wasn’t obvious).  I love each of my family members individually and think they’re great and hanging out with them is great.  But it’s really hard and stressful to be with the whole family.  I’m not gonna elaborate on that anymore for risk of saying something politically incorrect.  

OK gonna look for jobs now. bye.

Hiiiiiiiiiii.

Haven’t been updating much, but I’m home and there’s not a whole lot going on besides hanging out and visiting people.

Visited Torri in Louisville, SO GREAT TO SEE YOU!!! I miss you already and I love you! Wish I could just teleport you everywhere with me.

Visited Oxford and stayed with Hailey, where I ran into sooooo many people at the bars from freshman year.  It was weird and fun all at the same time, especially because now I feel like a senior and the last time I was at Miami I still felt like a freshman.  Ahhh.

Hung out with Garrett a bit, like last night with his band.  Chilled in Ryan’s backyard near some cornfields and played acoustic guitar with some PBR’s.  Actually such a great night.

It’s so great to see everyone, and I’m so BAFFLED by how grown up everyone seems! Do I seem more grown up to them?  I don’t think I do. Which is weird.  Ahh.  Taylor got married on Saturday, and everyone is just….too mature!  It’s so weird.  Good weird, but weird nonetheless.

Heading back to the Ith tomorrow.  Will be interesting.

I am home!

Ahh. So nice.  I wake up and make breakfast, walk my dogs, lay out for a bit, go grocery shopping, nap, cook dinner, go run, watch TV, dude, this is great. 

I love being home; it’s pretty much the same thing as being on vacation.  Free yummy food, beautiful weather, almost no responsibility, running, laying out, hanging out with friends.  But it’s also sort of weird…I definitely feel like I’m at my parent’s house, not mine.  Yeah, that’s what it is.  I have a place to stay here, but it’s not really mine anymore. 

Last time I was here it was mono recovery for Christmas break; the time before that was a 10 day break between San Francisco and school; the time before that was another 10 day break between school and San Fran; and the time before that was Christmas break when Alex passed.  So in the past two years, I really haven’t spent a whole lot of time here.  It’s weird.

Mystery bartender’s name is Nell. A really, really large Hispanic woman just came up to me and tried to get me to give her my phone charger. What? I was at the charging station….charging my own phone…I told her no. And she just stood next to me for like ten minutes as if I was going to change my mind. This is such a sketchy place.

Cleveland bus station=win. Compared to buffalo at least (sketchyyyy).

So it’s 3:34 am and I’m about to make my fourth connection. Well, in an hour. This trip. Originally the plan was drive to syracuse, catch a bus straight to Cleveland then straight to cincinnati. Unfortunately, I forgot to run the plan by my brother (aka my ride) who had two finals to study for over driving for two and a half hours. So I switched my plan to Ithaca, which also had a 7:30 pm bus to Cincy. But first, Rochester, transfer at buffalo, transfer at Cleveland, and THEN Cincinnati. Literally Ithaca is in the middle of no where. Getting anywhere from that place sucks.

It’s really easy to make friends on buses though. Honestly theres so many wacky people that the normal ones are easy to pick out and sort of stick together. Roberto the Canadian baseball player was my first buddy through sketchy buffalo (someone was escorted off the bus right before our transfer) and mystery bar tender man is my new buddy (just listened to a security guard witness to us for like 20 min straight). People are crazy. A lot of people who ride buses are crazy.

I would love a coffee right now. Typing on iPhones is hard so I won’t update anymore. Just know that I am one bus ride away from being home!!!

SERIOUSLY struggling right now.

Worth it? Yes. Absolutely, on two counts.

So let me describe the last two days to you…to begin, I’ve been sprinting through finals/final reports in an effort to get home sooner.  Pushed up 2 exams and am (attempting) to complete a report early as well.  So, that one factor has made my past few days extra busy and low on sleep, what with 6 am library sesh’s and stressful exam periods. 

On top of that, everyone’s about to leave for the summer, which makes me want to live up every moment as much as possible; I can sleep when I’m home, right?  I only have about another day with all these people who are basically my family, and the thought of taking a nap just does not compare to sitting at CTB with Sangria or hanging out on the roof or whatever else it is that we do.  Even when I’m really, really tired.

And finally, Danny just found out that a friend of his passed away in a way that reminds me uncannily of Alex’s passing.  Unbelievably close friend, amazing and warm person, completely unexpected passing.  Discovered on Christmas, discovered on a birthday.  Emotionally, it’s making me think so much about all the feelings I went through immediately after Alex’s death.  It’s also such a hard situation for him because he’s in Ithaca instead of surrounded by friends who he can grieve with; I was incredibly lucky that literally 5 minutes after I found out I was picked up by Landry so we could go up to the Bain’s and see Ellyn and his dad.  When it happened to me, I literally just shut out the world except for my immediate group of home friends.  As much as we all love each other here at Cornell, it’s just different.  You need to be with people who are grieving too and who get it.  So it’s hard, because I know that I can’t really do a whole lot to help.  But it’s reminding me again of how precious time is and how important it is to be there for your friends.

So, I stayed up til like…4…last night.  Sleepwise, that comes out to 3 hours last night, 4 hours the night before, and about 6 the night before that.  Haha.  It’s not awful, but starting to feel it a bit.

But ohhhhhh my gosh what a night last night was.  We were celebrating Danny’s 21st, so the day was pretty packed (6 am library, 9 am exam, track, back to apt, golf at 1, sangria at CTB around 4:30, family dinner around 7 (PIZZA!), hanging out, drinking, roof, more drinking, and then some, just shenanigans).  Sooooooo much fun.

But…again, I’m feeling it today.  My body is not happy with me. But maybe I just notice that more because I CAN’T SLEEP IN and I’m not just sleeping off all of this like normal people do.  Instead I was awake at 7, stayed in bed til 9, drunk baked another cake, talked on the phone with Torri, showered, pretended to clean my room, and am now librarying it up to start this report.  I mean, finish this report.

Gonna just hole up here all day until I’m done, then head back for food and food network date with vish!